signs

there are a lot of weird signs out there. i'm not talking about signs like crop circles or other paranormal signals that m. night shyamalan makes movies about so that you shit in your pants in fear. i'm talking about signs made by man himself.

"The Most Frustrating Sign" on view at the denver international airport:

"I'm a piece of paper. May I help you?"

MAY I HELP YOU? Is this some kind of a JOKE?










"The Most Ill Advised Emergency Plan Sign" also at denver international airport.

I don't know about you, but a bathroom is quite possibly the LAST place i would want to be during a tornado...










Lastly, the "Overly Specific Sign" as seen in the NY Subway.


"Lean on your best friend for the $50 he owes you. But don't lean on the subway car doors."

Isn't this sign strangely specific? It's as if the copywriter's best friend owes him $50 and he is either really really MAD and wants to tell everyone that his BEST FRIEND is not paying him back or he's just really passive aggressive.

I can think of a zillion things that make more sense than "Lean on your best friend for the $50 he owes you. But don't lean on subway car doors."

Like:

"Lean on your best friend." FULL STOP. none of this "for the $50 he owes you.
or
"Lean on your Pro Med Walking stick. But don't lean on the subway car doors."
or
"Lean towards Socialism when the current administration seems to be f-ing everything up. But don't lean on the subway car doors."