Wednesday, January 30, 2008

real blog coming soon...but first...

i know i know - i have been a bit remiss in my blogging. but things have been busy. and anyway, i never wanted this site to be a "diary", so i'll spare you all the banal details of why my life has been so busy. what i really came here for is to say:

i don't know why they do it, but asian parents put the article "the" in front of everything. for example (and these are real examples):

"did you get my forward about the antarctica?"
"do you live on the street with the gays?" (sorry sorry, nothing malicious meant by this...that's just what happens)
"let's go shopping at the nordstroms!"

...etc. etc. does anyone know why? i don't. but it's cute. and it makes me laugh.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

pavlov's dog

i like to change up my ring tone every so often. for a long time, it went like this: "beep boop BOO doop" also known as the Counter Terrorist Unit/Jack Bauer/24-the show ring tone. these days, it just goes: boop. boop. boop. boop.

it's a nice, clean sound. i just didn't want anything that made me feel like i was sipping pina coladas in a hammock (someone's ring tone at work does this to me - i almost feel like harry belafonte is about to pop his happy head out from behind a computer terminal and hand me a banana to tally whenever it rings).

aaanyway, i digress. the other day, i was in bed, all snuggly and excited to finish off my book when i heard "boop. boop. boop. boop." i LEAPED out of bed and literally SPRINTED to get my phone. i slipped on the newly pledged floor (why does my cleaning person DO this? who puts pledge on the floor? ok fine, i did, but i was in college and i didn't know any better) and slid right into my dining table.

and my phone wasn't even booping!! i had left the TV on. the booping culprit was the scale on "the biggest loser". its boops are at the same pitch and intervals as my phone's boops.

how is it that i have become so conditioned to running after my phone when i hear it beep?

i'm pavlov AND his dog.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

let's play M.A.S.H.

"MASH" stands for Mansion, Apartment, Shack, House. it's a game that i used to play in grade school. the point of it was to "predict" your future in neat categories: your future husband, your future car, your future car color, your future job, your future husband's future job, your future honeymoon location, your future city of residence, etc etc...

in each category, you and your MASH partner come up with 4 choices. and one of them has to be perfectly horrendous. for example, under "car", popular choices are: mercedes, BMW, corvette, and *gasp* a YUGO!! or under "husband": carlos, donald, jason, *omg* MR. ROGERS! then through a slightly inaccurate process of elimination, you come up with "your future".

it's a real hoot. except when you find out that in your future life, you're a bum, living in a shack with your husband Big Bird who drives a multicolored tricycle to his job as a zebra stripe painter to support you and 1000 kids who are growing up in the bad part of detroit.

well, i played MASH over instant messenger with my friend (who wanted to remain anonymous) today.

MASH friend: can we play MASH please?
MASH friend: i'll do your fortune
irenejkim77: yes.
MASH friend: no shack, i know, don’t worry

*doo doo doo...mash interlude*

MASH friend: ok
MASH friend: let me know when you're ready
irenejkim77: yay! ready!
MASH friend: so, as you're cruising down the streets in your RED VOLVO STATION WAGON ....
irenejkim77: NICE
MASH friend: you get all nostalgic, as the palm trees in california remind you of your dope honeymoon in bora bora!
irenejkim77: woo hoo!!
MASH friend: however, the nostalgia quickly fades
MASH friend: BECAUSE
MASH friend: you miss your husband who is off being an ambassador
MASH friend: and saving the world
MASH friend: you look in the backseat of your car at your TWO GORGEOUS KIDS
irenejkim77: (thank god not 100 like in 5th grade)
MASH friend: who look just like your husband and quickly you're back to nostalgia
irenejkim77: ew...
irenejkim77: who is my hubby?
MASH friend: (WAIT)
MASH friend: as you pull into your LUXURY APARTMENT
irenejkim77: oooh
MASH friend: you get a postcard from your husband
MASH friend: which reads ....
MASH friend: "you're too beautiful to work! i'm glad you decided to become a real housewife from orange county*!"
MASH friend: "love always, your husband:
MASH friend: (deleted for blogging purposes)

yippee. i can’t wait.

*only the best show in the world: http://www.bravotv.com/Real_Housewives_2

Monday, January 7, 2008

celebrity animal look a like

i have this talent that oft goes unnoticed. i have the ability to pair celebrities with their animal lookalike.

MATT LAUER...


...looks like a GERMAN SHEPHERD! (more specifically, the german shep from "all dogs go to heaven")




AL GORE...



...looks like a COBRA!!!



SURI CRUISE (so adorable)...



...looks like a precious moments (http://www.preciousmoments.com/) doll!



i know a precious moments doll is not an animal, but i wanted to make the comparision anyway since the resemblance is so striking.