tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-53743413263730235592024-02-06T23:04:30.155-05:00i want pinkbecause if given a choice, i always want the pink oneUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger137125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5374341326373023559.post-39274719725591274212011-10-21T15:39:00.004-05:002011-10-21T15:49:53.575-05:00Q: why are witches frustrated? A: because warlocks have hallow-weenies.Halloween is around the corner and decorations are popping up around San Diego. Can we take a moment and discuss this one I saw while picking up lunch? <img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 154px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 245px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5666048176547449602" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLiecGNaSSu5FZLVGGG4pleGO283CzJAYelbZdyJG5xXiMf8u0KtJHUX9LgM5rwp2Qw6P1evfI2vLNiCiB6VU-JWVKZl8dKG0abkW6xEL6r-TosFwL87BemTs_ubcdQclpvlcM_EzPIb0/s320/027.JPG" /><br /><br />It says: <strong>Enter. U.R. Dead.<br /><br /></strong>Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was TEXTING with this sign. Wouldn’t it make more sense to just write: “Enter. You Are Dead” ??<br /><br /><br /><br />Actually, no. No, it wouldn’t make more sense to write out the words "You Are" at all. Maybe it’s my severely sleep deprived brain post baby, but I have no idea what this sign is trying to say.<br /><br />Did it mean to say:<br /><br /><em>(Do Not)</em> <strong>Enter</strong>. <em>(Because)</em> <strong>U.R. Dead<br /></strong><em>(U. Can’t)</em> <strong>Enter</strong>. <em>(Because)</em> <strong>U.R. Dead<br />Enter. U.R.</strong> <em>(a Dad)</em><br /><em>(If You)</em> <strong>Enter</strong><em>.</em> <strong>U.R. Dead</strong><em> (like, you know, like the kind of signs i used to scotch tape on my "clubhouse" to keep my brother out)</em><br /><br /><em></em><br /><br />I'm not saying that I'm against fun Halloween decor. I'm not dressing up as the Grinch this October 31st. Alls I'm saying is if you're going to have a sign, it should at least make sense.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5374341326373023559.post-41560447245913001102011-08-20T17:21:00.001-05:002011-08-20T17:23:45.732-05:00now, that's not very nice!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqfRkhFCcN_wk0AdVV8j35Uj4RLAxfe94oobHxQpF3Fa2XcWL0G59brOmS5yfecMeqBA4d1EhvuUx4fBPi9ezcaZezll4F2Uuqk5ul9feWbsD-1PhE48_w-ww_iFzJFy7bHKQOQj00-j8/s1600/001.JPG"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 239px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5643067258383068482" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqfRkhFCcN_wk0AdVV8j35Uj4RLAxfe94oobHxQpF3Fa2XcWL0G59brOmS5yfecMeqBA4d1EhvuUx4fBPi9ezcaZezll4F2Uuqk5ul9feWbsD-1PhE48_w-ww_iFzJFy7bHKQOQj00-j8/s320/001.JPG" /></a> it's bad enough that they're slow, but do you have to call them out on it?
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5374341326373023559.post-25615637366947647592011-06-28T14:21:00.002-05:002011-06-28T14:25:08.205-05:00Bad Names<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:officedocumentsettings> <o:allowpng/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:splitpgbreakandparamark/> <w:enableopentypekerning/> <w:dontflipmirrorindents/> 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line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">Now that I am expecting a little baby, I’ve thought long and hard about names and what it could mean for the future of this little bean inside me.<span style=""> </span>I loosely believe that your name shapes who you become…if you’re name is Jane, you’re likely to be plain.<span style=""> </span>If you’re name is Bella, you’re likely to be pretty.<span style=""> </span>If you’re name is Irene, you’re likely to be an 86 year old Caucasian grandmother or a 30 something Korean woman (http://iwantpink.blogspot.com/2008/10/whats-in-korean-american-name.html).<span style=""> </span>Your personality is partially shaped by how people treat you, and that treatment begins when you tell them your name.<span style=""> </span>(Incidentally, my husband has a really cool name, hence why I think he’s the coolest person I know).<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Anyhoo - I always play the “what’s the worst name in the world” game with my friends.<span style=""> </span>Try it! <span style=""></span>It’s a fun game.<span style=""> </span>My friend Jen knows someone whose name is Dick Hurlbutt.<span style=""> </span>Another friend knows someone whose name is Sukdik Pengosticles. <span style=""> </span>No, seriously.<span style=""> </span>Say that out loud.<span style=""> </span>Whisper it if you are at work but just say it out loud. It’s impossible not to crack up, right? </p> <p class="MsoNormal">But I was reminded of the worst name ever when I was watching a re-run of Paula Deen’s Home Cooking the other day.<span style=""> </span>She had Deirdre and Albert Pujols (he’s, like, a really famous baseball player) on the show and she introduced them, in her over the top Southern accent, as “Dee Dee and Albert POO HOLES”.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Yuck!<span style=""> </span>Totally ruined the show for me!<span style=""> </span>POO HOLES!</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5374341326373023559.post-6726383751621498022011-06-02T11:05:00.002-05:002011-06-02T11:06:58.125-05:00For All Of You Who Think I'm A Bad Driver...<div>...at least i don't do this:</div><br /><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 240px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5613654458922419026" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisSaiPaPT0hYlcaAbXg8TTUVyMd_Sk900QZ41myXTV-UPlPljq67e7xXJHlD9h4lF_3fN5Uh4TuoBaM2hfDlyDTT3JFzWFPr-a4NzTNjgRfRfdXH9Tsg2QlcLSo_XbtLBVvQ8p1CGNYCk/s320/foot+driving.jpg" /><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><br /><div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5374341326373023559.post-87376018742443345902011-05-27T13:01:00.002-05:002011-05-27T13:10:13.926-05:00*pause*<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:officedocumentsettings> <o:allowpng/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> 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Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--><p class="MsoNormal">We all know the dramatic impact a well-placed pause can play.<span style=""> </span>It can add intrigue, suspense, humor, excitement to an otherwise...mundane...sentence (see what i mean?).<span style=""> </span>This is particularly true over the radio, when the rhythm and cadence of someone voice becomes the only thing we can "see." <span style=""></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Last night, I was listening to NPR’s Robert Siegel interview Scott Rudin, the producer of the new Broadway smash satire, “The Book of Mormon.”<span style=""> </span>Rudin is long hailed as one of the most prolific and successful producers in the industry and Siegel asked him a very topical question, albeit with a very misplaced pause.<span style=""> </span>He asked, “<span style="font-style: italic;">How many</span> (pause.<span style=""> </span>good, dramatic pause) <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">BALLS </span>(emphasis.<span style=""> </span>ok. certainly got my attention at this point) <span style="font-style: italic;">do you have</span> (pause.<span style=""> </span>BAD AWKWARD PAUSE!)…”<span style=""> </span><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">...and then he stopped!!!<span style=""> </span>Well, he started talking again but not soon enough.<span style=""> </span>I actually thought Rudin was going to answer that question. “<span style="font-style: italic;">Well, Robert, always the hard hitter with your questions, aren't ya? As you probably have assumed, I was born with the standard two, but it’s true what they say about playing basketball with a pencil in your pocket…yes, indeed, quite an unfortunate incident.”</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I mean,<span style=""> </span>really. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">The pause was clearly unintentional and I’m assuming was placed there because the sentence was coming out rather clumsily so Siegel needed the extra time to re-think how he was going to ask the rest of the question (which, incidentally was, “how many balls do you have…juggling in the air…with all your different projects?).</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Anyway. It was funny. but awkward. and i still make the 'eeeeeek!' face when i think about that interview. <br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal">That's all for now. <span style=""></span>I have to go and screw... </p> <p class="MsoNormal">...in a lightbulb ...into a lamp ... i just got fixed. <span style=""></span></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5374341326373023559.post-78259924290983230292011-03-09T23:01:00.006-05:002011-03-10T16:04:35.469-05:00sir, brush your teeth and ee-NUN-cee-ate.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjK1waL8zbiyPmrsrU3p9hwM-OHU9e_cyysOzbmrm1mZJUC7w4t16o_mRfsVI9HLYBEmaixdtR8xSEJglVHZUQF-bIr7vLTld1j2gcPKDQEbzFgHvkIWiNw91DMjLcTnvVV59qlsoF4U10/s1600/bis.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 256px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjK1waL8zbiyPmrsrU3p9hwM-OHU9e_cyysOzbmrm1mZJUC7w4t16o_mRfsVI9HLYBEmaixdtR8xSEJglVHZUQF-bIr7vLTld1j2gcPKDQEbzFgHvkIWiNw91DMjLcTnvVV59qlsoF4U10/s320/bis.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5582559347907933154" border="0" /></a><br />one thing i hate about business travel is the waiting period before you board a flight. the waiting area is way too cramped and you are always disappointed, either because someone sits down next to you, or you have to sit next to someone else. not only are you 2 inches from someone else, you are also facing someone. for me, that person is usually aimlessly staring into space; often times directly right at me in a very unnerving way.<br /><br />so yday i was on my way to kentucky and i sat next the only person who had two empty seats next to him. as i started thumbing through my magazine, i noticed an odious smell. what IS that? turns out, it was the man to my right's BREATH! that is just FOUL. to have breath so stale that someone sitting next to you can smell it!<br /><br />i put my nose down to my shirt collar and contemplated leaving but decided against it because i didn't want to be an airport loiterer. you know, the people who don't sit down and muddy up the line process with their constant creeping. the people to whom you want to say, "are you in rows 25 or higher? if not, get out of my way, WOMAN!"<br /><br />i stuck around, though, because this man's phone conversation was gripping. who was he talking to? his best friend, the pimp? it went like this, "did you see how many BITCHES there were? how many BITCHES did he send YOU? i had at least 1000 BITCHES, it was unbelievable! i don't know how i'm going to organize all those BITCHES, it's going to take me a long time to put them in their right place. so many BITCHES, i don't know what to do with them all...Geez Louise...too many BITCHES."<br /><br />the thing is, he was a totally normal looking GRANDFATHER. kind, gentle-looking, wearing high waisted pants, hearing aid, and orthopedic shoes. and he was throwing out the word BITCHES at a faster rate than a judge at the Westminster Dog Show.<br /><br />i wasn't the only person who noticed. parents were stuffing their fingers into the ears of their little children, babies were crying, mouths were agape, people moved away (though it remains unclear whether it was his breath or his language that drove them to flee).<br /><br />anyway. i was the only person who actually realized what the old man ways saying...he wasn't saying BITCHES, he was saying PICTURES but with an accent. you know, like "Pitchas".<br /><br />he should really be more careful.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5374341326373023559.post-60653407206614791822011-03-08T20:21:00.004-05:002011-03-08T20:43:26.930-05:00(in a scary voice) "i am the san diego chargeeeerrrrrrr"<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:officedocumentsettings> <o:allowpng/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> 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mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--> </a><p class="MsoNormal">I’m kind of scared. There’s a running joke in our little household (and by joke I mean, not a joke because jokes aren’t supposed to make you feel scared…) that we have a ghost. I mean, I don’t reeeeally think we have a ghost and even if we DID have a ghost, I’d be, like, totally cool with that (psst - I’m just writing that just in case the ghost reads my blog and I don’t want it to know that I’m really scared of it). I think this because I hear noises around the house at night...The noises I hear are noises houses make…you know, creaking and cracking and sighing and farting. Oh wait, that’s not the house. I will blame the farting on our non existent dog. MY POINT IS, they are noises that New Yorkers just aren’t used to hearing because no one lives in a house. So maybe, I thought, that's why I'm such a big scaredy-cat sometimes.<br /></p> <a style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);" name="_MailAutoSig"></a> <p style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);" class="MsoNormal"><span style="">But THEN: my charger disappeared.<span style=""> </span>So, I have a ritual.<span style=""> </span>Every night, I charge my phone with the charger that is next to my bed.<span style=""> </span>If I travel, I take ANOTHER charger so as not to be caught chargerless when I’m going to bed because I took it with me traveling and didn't unpack it.<span style=""> </span>Bc there’s nothing worse than getting OUT of bed to get a charger when you're all snugged up IN bed because there’s also nothing worse than having an uncharged phone the entire next day.<span style=""> </span>One night, however, the charger was missing.<span style=""> </span>Except it wasn’t missing.<span style=""> </span>It was in ANOTHER PLUG on the OTHER SIDE OF THE BED.</span></p> <p style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);" class="MsoNormal"><span style="">My hubby swears he doesn’t remember moving it.<span style=""> </span>Which is different than swearing he didn’t move it.<span style=""> </span>But STILL.<span style=""> </span>SCARY!!<span style=""> </span>Who moved it?<span style=""> </span>10% my husband, 90% the creepy San Diego Charger?<span style=""> </span></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);" class="MsoNormal"><span style="">THEN.<span style=""> </span>And this is why I’m cowering behind my computer in fear. </span></p> <p style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);" class="MsoNormal"><span style="">I just went outside to run and errand.<span style=""> </span>Mind you, I had been alone in my office, nay! alone in the HOUSE for the entire day.<span style=""> </span>When I came back from the errand, I saw this:</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXzET5st0HoV7Vftk79GmwBA1YhR5jjbPHaU2L9_RLGS-iEHX2_k-e3b3POQbRUXEgL1_urAS-HQEOPiqkmqrpbCQQifgKG3VxIrcGWswXIeGY-_y8yjUiy0BAuOziZ_S80Avv1_xDKYg/s1600/band+aid.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXzET5st0HoV7Vftk79GmwBA1YhR5jjbPHaU2L9_RLGS-iEHX2_k-e3b3POQbRUXEgL1_urAS-HQEOPiqkmqrpbCQQifgKG3VxIrcGWswXIeGY-_y8yjUiy0BAuOziZ_S80Avv1_xDKYg/s320/band+aid.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5581888187218372594" border="0" /></a></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);" class="MsoNormal"><span style="">A FREAKING USED BAND-AID.<span style=""> </span>A USED BAND-AID I SAID!! Obviously, I did a quick bodily once over to see if I had forgotten that I had hurt myself and then forgotten that I put a band-aid on.<span style=""> </span>Then I remembered that I only buy Hello Kitty band-aids and there was NO WAY THAT BAND-AID IS MINE.<br /></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);" class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);">I’m so scared!!!!!!</span><span style=""><span style=""></span></span></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5374341326373023559.post-82559602272848513172011-01-27T23:12:00.005-05:002011-01-27T23:33:21.685-05:00sonic-ewwwwwso i needed to buy a new electric toothbrush yday so i naturally went to the largest e-tailer in the world - amazon.com - to do some price comparison:<br /><br /><div><div><div><br /><br /><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 203px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5567090031301373474" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifOxlFVB5Ig-d9VQcXJsPerzwIb7PgBiNSm_JZalB3wlbAbtZv7xFd_mMVQEAj7wxDn9VbaUM_lAKrormHPHFTs5cQRavYqkSAly1fII6qrpOzaynAzr61wvr0Od8I9Bf7Hzr_uzVseTc/s320/sonicare.png" /><br /><br /><div></div><br /><div>look! YUCK! maaaybe i understand someone buying a used sonicare because you can just replace the head, but buying a used sonicare brush head??? </div><br /><br /><div>that's just gross. </div></div></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5374341326373023559.post-90976834351749540412011-01-18T13:56:00.012-05:002011-01-20T16:44:59.671-05:00Dinner for Twosorry sorry, i know it's been forever and a decade since i've last written on this blog. transitioning to a new place has taken over my new life.<br /><br />this transition has not been without the normal hardships of missing friends, the energy of the city, etc. but i have to say little blessings do pop up on a daily basis.<br /><br />1) blessing #1 - in san diego, people seem to take greater pride in their service jobs. i'm not kidding when i say that a recent trip to the verizon wireless store was one of the highlights of my life here.<br /><br />2) blessing #2 - i've re-aquainted myself with the wondrousness of The Oprah Winfrey Show and am slowly coming to grips that this is her last season (i'm legitimately sad).<br /><br />3) blessing #3 - we don't have to make reservations for any restaurant anymore.<br /><br />ok, so maybe that last one is not always true. have you guys heard of P.F. Changs? it's kind of like an Olive Garden but for Chinese food. one look at the menu and you know that no Asian person of any sort was asked for input. this is not to say that the food is not delicious, because it is. delicious like Queso. delicious like Slim Jims. delicious like Cool Whip. fake. but delicious.<br /><br />when i think about the board of directors at P.F. Changs, i envision a cadre of caucasion men, all rotund and rosy cheeked and loudly debating what they should name their dishes. "Moo Shoe Pork!" "Chinese Pig with Really Little Pan Cakes!" "Confucious say Moo Shoe Pork!" this is a restaurant where they actually have a loyalty program called the "Warrior's Club." (GONG!!!! (<em>gong sound added for effect, that doesn't really happen when you sign up for the club tho i wouldn't put it past them</em>)). <br /><br />Anyway, i'm being totally unfair because the food is actually quite tasty at P.F. Changs. and we legitimately wanted to go there on Friday night. And as i said earlier, one doesn't need to make reservations in san diego, we rolled right up to the hostess counter and this is what happened...<br /><br /><strong>irene</strong>: two for dinner, please<br /><br /><strong>host</strong>: that will be 2 hour wait (handing me a abnormally large buzzer thing that will indicate when my table is ready)<br /><br /><strong>irene</strong>: an hour wait???? here? (frantically waving arms around and pointing to the tacky chinese decor)<br /><br /><strong>host</strong>: well. you know, this <strong>IS</strong> P.F. Changs...<br /><br />it was as depressing a statement as saying a visit to the verizon store was one of my major highlights...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5374341326373023559.post-74832545647641479562010-11-21T15:55:00.009-05:002014-10-30T22:48:06.178-05:00eat what you killp and i just got back from a 3 day culinary course in santa barbara. it was so top chef and i highly recommend it if you're into that kind of thing. our cherubic looking teacher julia (named after ms. child) taught us how to chiffonade, julliene, and brunoise. she taught us how to organize our pantry, how to flip over a tarte tartin, and how to make foccacia from scratch. but perhaps the thing i was most proud of accomplishing was not barfing up my homemade croissant at the fish market when she revealed that this was going to be our last lesson/meal:<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu8CEz-28Nv_15HthZBjqpfs9XyI2onzKYKef86md4nGEacgW0PbmbqD7QYn_dNnX6AlpC00Ak1t0LAjgR5aFKjA9rL23j26A-EKgA1WbKW_0hGHqmvcKpSfIqKG0wSLZuEBAEw2uk5wQ/s1600/IMG00049-20101120-0826.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu8CEz-28Nv_15HthZBjqpfs9XyI2onzKYKef86md4nGEacgW0PbmbqD7QYn_dNnX6AlpC00Ak1t0LAjgR5aFKjA9rL23j26A-EKgA1WbKW_0hGHqmvcKpSfIqKG0wSLZuEBAEw2uk5wQ/s320/IMG00049-20101120-0826.jpg" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5542120887762955570" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 240px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 320px;" /></a><br />
just look at the terror on that fish face...the one on top. look! it's like the funny face i make when i'm pretending to be really really scared except this fish ain't pretending.<br />
<br />
here's another shot:<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL3OpPxpQaUhLbNe5-2-OgLK4CkeFvqLY7GP2g-TjxWwazpJUmgZ8gVp94MCID72LedmZK6e9zRfbAyXy_AwJsA-euAjBjOCrF0fm5jUpP5yWnoktt-m8eiAqenfkv3HUduvIYQpaDaUE/s1600/IMG00053-20101120-1336.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL3OpPxpQaUhLbNe5-2-OgLK4CkeFvqLY7GP2g-TjxWwazpJUmgZ8gVp94MCID72LedmZK6e9zRfbAyXy_AwJsA-euAjBjOCrF0fm5jUpP5yWnoktt-m8eiAqenfkv3HUduvIYQpaDaUE/s320/IMG00053-20101120-1336.jpg" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5542120531960862530" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 240px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 320px;" /></a><br />
the blobs on the right of the head are his EYES. his EYES!!! and yes, we had to eat it, too.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5374341326373023559.post-53116043435161032782010-11-12T17:21:00.003-05:002010-11-12T17:28:30.154-05:00a tip to santa...<span style="font-size:85%;"> REALLY NOW? is this gigantic psychedelic headband really the PERFECT christmas gift? come on!!!</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 260px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 182px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5538793154536664050" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaaRzA9geED5nYF983URjvbYWi2V6tbXnKsfup_vh5-YbBYGZM8d13zDOQg3ZAmBo6XhgQVt7XyXDc6bL-UTpDpQNWugngx5pE65AX35fTA70UjBxW2DVQ-blKq-eFYCS0mIilzyeHup0/s320/IMG00001-20101112-1416.jpg" /> </span><div></div><div><span style="font-size:85%;">i'm the master of hyperbole, but this is ridiculous. if i gave anyone this gift for christmas, i'd expect a sock in the face in return. a well deserved one,</span> at that.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5374341326373023559.post-9425572355840494142010-11-11T13:00:00.006-05:002010-11-11T13:40:54.038-05:00<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEc7RO0dQzUlM2f0fEfgyo3GssjXj2IGeoBpkaxziy-JFQGl2j3M-I8o3OTeDyLaTbh0NOhBJq3j7Wf6P1ZPlbBpWqZ_cQUttkorCvMsLKKWbar4QhjgRRWeRAMyVehKmY6Y7iDABw5QE/s1600/untitled.bmp"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 240px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 160px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5538355617933001378" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEc7RO0dQzUlM2f0fEfgyo3GssjXj2IGeoBpkaxziy-JFQGl2j3M-I8o3OTeDyLaTbh0NOhBJq3j7Wf6P1ZPlbBpWqZ_cQUttkorCvMsLKKWbar4QhjgRRWeRAMyVehKmY6Y7iDABw5QE/s320/untitled.bmp" /></a><br /><div><span style="font-size:85%;">i miss nyc shopping. i really do. which is weird because i actually hate it. nyc shopping is wonderful in theory, but in actuality, it's too crowded, too expensive, too impulsive, and too time consuming. not to mention all that walking and carrying bags! theoretical shopping in san diego shopping is SO MUCH BETTER. you go to a single location, walk around in the sun without ambition, and buy stuff from pleasant sales people. when you're tired, you go to the food court and eat delicious mexican food. when you're done, you go get your car from valet, and with a flick of your wrist, your bags are in the back of your car and you are driving home recklessly (everyone in san diego is a bad driver except for my husband who is just an angry driver because everyone else is such a bad driver.)</span></div><div><span style="font-size:85%;"></span></div><div><span style="font-size:85%;">there is one problem: there is nothing to buy in san diego malls. this got me thinking...maybe i'm been looking for love in all the wrong places. so, i did a quick yelp search for "san diego boutique" and these were the stores than came up.</span></div><div></div><div><span style="font-size:85%;">Temptress</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Ooh La La</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Girly Girly</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Love Me</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Dream Girls</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Lusty Lady</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Bubbles</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Unicorn**</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Kyss</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">i seriously had to scroll up to the "search for" box to see if i had accidentally typed in "san diego finest strip clubs" instead of "boutique" but no, i did indeed type "B-O-U-T-I-Q-U-E-S".<br /></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">this is a huge problem. next time you see me, i'm going to be wearing eddie bauer jean pants with a tucked in Gap Tee. either that, or i will be wearing nipple pasties and 5 inch clear heels and nothing else. i don't know which is worse. </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><em>**i know i'm slagging off all of these names, but w/regards to "Unicorn", it's simply the BEST STORE NAME EVER. i'm SO mad someone else took it before i thought of it. </em></span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5374341326373023559.post-48821532990756610592010-10-21T13:52:00.012-05:002010-10-26T13:40:18.137-05:00wax on, wax offi just got an email from a friend. men may not want to read this. it involves hair removal. come to think of it, women may not want to read it either. but what the heck! i'll post it anyway. i took out some of the words to make it less graphic and more mad libby.<br /><br />here's the email:<br /><br />"First of all, I haven't had a wax in awhile. Fair enough, & you know how <span style="color:#ff0000;">[insert color here]</span> people have a LOT of<span style="color:#ff0000;"> [insert body accoutrement here],</span> not like our friends in the rest of <span style="color:#ff0000;">[insert country here].</span> So the Eastern <span style="color:#ff0000;">[insert country here] [insert noun here]</span> comes in, & she's like, "oh no you've never been waxed? We have to <span style="color:#ff0000;">[insert verb here]."</span> I was like, I've been waxed, just not in awhile. She says, "Oh, you have to wait maximum <span style="color:#ff0000;">[insert number here]</span> weeks between each waxing. I will have to <span style="color:#ff0000;">[insert verb here].</span> So she gets out <span style="color:#ff0000;">[insert common household tool here]</span> & literally<span style="color:#ff0000;"> [insert verb here]</span> my hair down there. I've NEVER had any one do that! So I'm already thinking this is a little weird. But I'm like, ok fine.<br /><br />Other things she said/did during the course of the waxing:<br /><br />1. She kept saying "good <span style="color:#ff0000;">[insert noun here]." </span>I think she doesn't speak English so well. One time she said "ok baby".<br /><br />2. After she pulled off the <span style="color:#ff0000;">[insert noun here]</span> she set it down in between my<span style="color:#ff0000;"> [insert body part here, plural].</span> So by the end of the waxing it was as though I had pooped out an entire pile of <span style="color:#ff0000;">[insert noun here].</span><br /><br />3. She made me get up off the <span style="color:#ff0000;">[insert furniture piece here]</span> immediately when the wax was done so she could remove the pile of<span style="color:#ff0000;"> [insert noun here]</span> asap.<br /><br />4. On her left hand she was wearing a plastic <span style="color:#ff0000;">[insert noun here</span>]. It would accummulate <span style="color:#ff0000;">[insert noun here]</span>, but she would still hold my <span style="color:#ff0000;">[insert body part here]</span> taut with that hand. So after she removed a strip of wax there was an additional moment of pain when she had to remove her hand from my body. It hurt more than the regular strips because it had old <span style="color:#ff0000;">[insert noun here]</span> on it!<br /><br />5. When she put the <span style="color:#ff0000;">[insert noun here]</span> on me she patted it down and said "do you feel like a baby when I do that hahaha?"<br /><br />6. MOST SHOCKINGLY: when she was almost finished she was more deeply in my "area" than any one's been for a long time, & definitely more deeply than any waxer has been ... & she goes, "ok just a little<span style="color:#ff0000;"> [insert type of shrubbery here]</span> now, almost finished"<br /><br />At least it was clean but I would NEVER recommend this place!<br /><br /><em>(ed: i feel traumatized and violated)</em>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5374341326373023559.post-60785321309499808892010-10-13T19:38:00.004-05:002010-10-13T19:47:57.247-05:00this commercial hurts...have you guys seen the cymbalta commercial? an authoritative and melancholy voice asks you if you are depressed. and if you weren't depressed before you saw the commercial, you certainly will be after.<br /><br />it's the most depressing thing i've seen in along time. excuse me as i cry my heart out into my pillow for 5 minutes....<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">*5 minute sad music interlude. the background music for cymbalta will do just fine*</span><br /><br />ok, i'm back. <br /><br />what is UP with that commercial? it's nothing if not predatory! catch me on a bad day and i'll be chomping on pills in no time. and i used to think this guy was bad:<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5XLW-JoMTpR-zLWWIDLZAjcyID5JetIteRL0GkgB8RtTAdfcw_g6RXMNRWNv4LGNXhXn_1T0jjMdyEb4tCLfMwwFgPDuZt8JgF2QM9x9DyAqmqnEnOLVPSs7DZBvhiWOd2vdohHERFx4/s1600/images.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 152px; height: 97px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5XLW-JoMTpR-zLWWIDLZAjcyID5JetIteRL0GkgB8RtTAdfcw_g6RXMNRWNv4LGNXhXn_1T0jjMdyEb4tCLfMwwFgPDuZt8JgF2QM9x9DyAqmqnEnOLVPSs7DZBvhiWOd2vdohHERFx4/s320/images.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5527696446419708514" border="0" /></a><br /><br />(that sad, cute little dude is the zoloft mascot. heartbreaking, isn't he?)Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5374341326373023559.post-32414290235859868192010-09-04T20:46:00.005-05:002010-09-04T21:04:55.619-05:00it's time to leave NYC when...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8BT8QNCvUrmB6Q233Dicaxji8MkcHXp5PLN5rwqB-xdyLU8fErTycE1WfHvhZfXBwHBjm3vbwoefaPk2EI2WM6OKEKQm_l1lw_MZxtNw5CCLh-piZ6mk4HJqfwpQKsQRNYQU0Of6MDB0/s1600/wd40.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 95px; height: 160px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8BT8QNCvUrmB6Q233Dicaxji8MkcHXp5PLN5rwqB-xdyLU8fErTycE1WfHvhZfXBwHBjm3vbwoefaPk2EI2WM6OKEKQm_l1lw_MZxtNw5CCLh-piZ6mk4HJqfwpQKsQRNYQU0Of6MDB0/s320/wd40.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5513243696227183570" border="0" /></a><br />i had the most embarassing encounter at home depot the other day.<br /><br />the home depot in san diego is not at all like the one on 23rd street. it's super hardcore and intimidating. the people who frequent the SD home depot are building skyscrapers using only their teeth and maybe their left arm if they're feeling weak that day. NY home depot is to SD home depot as bell pepper is to habanero pepper times infinity.<br /><br />we needed lots of stuff...a propane tank for our new grill, some wooden slats to fix our bed, some work gloves so as not to contract splinters when handling aforementioned wooden slats, and some WD... wait. WD...<br /><br />SHOOT! i'm doing it again! WD-40 or WD-50*? which is the metal lubricant and which is the uber high end molecular gastronomy watering hole for NYC epicureans?<br /><br />i gambled and i this is what i said in a high pitched, nervous voice: "can you tell me where i can find some WD...um. some WD FIFTY?????". well, i lost that bet, my pride, and my home depot street cred, too.<br /><br />remember kids. WD-40 is what you're looking for if you're in a hardware store.<br /><br /><br />*<span class="f"><cite>www.<b>wd</b>-<b>50</b>.com/<br />so yum. ken and yael took me there once.<br /></cite> </span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5374341326373023559.post-4995904576837273732010-08-30T18:09:00.006-05:002010-08-30T18:20:45.443-05:00this, not thatone of the best things about moving back to san diego is that national public radio is back in my life. i love NPR, but for some reason, I enjoy it best when driving, and i'm happy to say that my NPR famine is officially over.<br /><br />anyway, I just listened to a fascinating segment was on pat robinson - you know, that freaky televangelist. side note – back in the 80’s, when televangelists were all the rage, didn’t you JUST KNOW that something was not right withTammy Faye and Jim Bakker, Jimmy Swaggart, Jerry Falwell, and Pat Robinson? If it’s not obvious from this picture below, then I hope your job doesn’t require you to operate heavy machinery:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2r2HxZtAmselym2tt6UHd8vUXHaOyK2_B4wfiQRVz7GAEO9fyGaim5R5dKDCZdyMkYPgnZFe0Ina_RvcH3R4UESghASVCQd6oKy2dvzPCTrQew9dyINudZOOaKaqmRJooQ-7YdGTEW3A/s1600/theplayers.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 314px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2r2HxZtAmselym2tt6UHd8vUXHaOyK2_B4wfiQRVz7GAEO9fyGaim5R5dKDCZdyMkYPgnZFe0Ina_RvcH3R4UESghASVCQd6oKy2dvzPCTrQew9dyINudZOOaKaqmRJooQ-7YdGTEW3A/s320/theplayers.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5511344157661545826" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Even as children, we knew something was not right. They they gave you Sunday Morning heebie jeebies even if you got a glimpse of them when flipping through the channels. Then, we found out that not only are they weird, they are bad people, too.<br /><br />Take a look at this Wikipedia list titled, “List of Christian Evangelist Scandals”. It’s crazy!!<br /><span style="font-size:85%;">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Christian_evangelist_scandals</span><br /><br />So back to Pat Robinson. To be perfectly honest, I have now forgotten most of the details of the story because I was so distraught after hearing it, but this is the gist of it: pat robinson is allegedly involved in some situation involving blood diamonds. Supporting not just any blood diamond cartel, but the most violent one. meaning, the cartel that coined the phrase "blood diamonds" because they chopped off PEOPLE’S HANDS. I KNOW! ICK!!<br /><br />FURTHERMORE, he was involved in the trafficking of ARMS!!! DOUBLE GRODY!!! ARMS?!?! who the heck buys ARMS? who WANTS ARMS?<br /><br />it wasn't until i was parked in my driveway that I realized I was thinking about the wrong kind of arms.<br /><br />Not this kind of arms:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgmQa5i0LNwNod2oTtbXJ6UlEfJNfhG6n6aShCazmw0QQ_O-J4neF0OJj7WAtpZSjGKCIitX5kLdo_i33aLz609JBFfFQR8-acYRnEeMO1jDyFymlihLkqBrTqATwKvGHSx6Jjc65VPRE/s1600/MadonnaFingerXPS_800x844.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 171px; height: 182px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgmQa5i0LNwNod2oTtbXJ6UlEfJNfhG6n6aShCazmw0QQ_O-J4neF0OJj7WAtpZSjGKCIitX5kLdo_i33aLz609JBFfFQR8-acYRnEeMO1jDyFymlihLkqBrTqATwKvGHSx6Jjc65VPRE/s320/MadonnaFingerXPS_800x844.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5511345894570939602" border="0" /></a>That kind of arms:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLxFEDg23Qe1voOMVbDr29Vxf7P3v_r_4gk1GNB_nyCUtYd3F3f77ZCDUTsMxFjWG6txBYv21ftvd2J7UHyy3j0LPtMgpY2hk9sRKG1dyvlovI7Hr3rFk5vSJIr3AgmuKbAOLq-mjqHkw/s1600/about1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 219px; height: 169px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLxFEDg23Qe1voOMVbDr29Vxf7P3v_r_4gk1GNB_nyCUtYd3F3f77ZCDUTsMxFjWG6txBYv21ftvd2J7UHyy3j0LPtMgpY2hk9sRKG1dyvlovI7Hr3rFk5vSJIr3AgmuKbAOLq-mjqHkw/s320/about1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5511345711233275682" border="0" /></a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5374341326373023559.post-11115892617430007282010-02-06T19:47:00.008-05:002010-02-06T21:40:08.372-05:00land of dum dums<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihrFMWP3Kyq7U5MbpxQ6gA_cg4avgTaF9Gi3X4asXPGwgKrYCsx_KF6VpAVPxyMEH5kjd3MkVhTQHhqNnjl-1ySCRVugBL_qTkEvP-FF-FpBb017Z8LaUzUnnDDxZtz4Dr7VBCbWq2frU/s1600-h/IMG00244.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihrFMWP3Kyq7U5MbpxQ6gA_cg4avgTaF9Gi3X4asXPGwgKrYCsx_KF6VpAVPxyMEH5kjd3MkVhTQHhqNnjl-1ySCRVugBL_qTkEvP-FF-FpBb017Z8LaUzUnnDDxZtz4Dr7VBCbWq2frU/s320/IMG00244.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5435324696355462978" border="0" /></a><br />I took a picture of this cheese at the place I always go to for lunch. For those of you who can’t see the image above, it says, “GOODA REDUCED FAT” on its label. As if sucking the fat out of her wasn’t bad enough, they then called her “GOODA?” Is that like “Krab Meat”? Are they trying to tell me that I'm not actually eating cheese, rather, processed FISH?<br /><br />Wanting to give the manufacturers of “GOODA REDUCED FAT” cheese the benefit of the doubt, I did a quick Google search. Sure enough, I got a “<span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">DID YOU MEAN GOUDA (ya dumbnut)</span></span>?” (the “ya dumbnut” is editorialized, but you know that’s what the Google is thinking).<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Of COURSE I meant GOUDA! </span><br /><br />This reminds me of an encounter I had with a travel agent in 2005. I was booking an annoyingly elaborate trip that had me stopping over in all sorts of places. For reasons still unknown to me, flying out of San Diego and into Palma, Mallorca proved too difficult for the itty bitty red-hatted gnomes working behind the scenes at Travelocity so they asked me to call a booking agent and speak to a <span style="font-weight: bold;">real live person. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Real Live Person</span>: “This is Bernice. I see that you’re trying to get from San Diego (also known as whale’s vagina (quote from Anchorman (she didn’t really say that))) to Mall Orca.”<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Me</span>: “ummmm. Right. It’s actually pronounced “Ma YORKA”, unless you’re South American, then you’re more likely to pronounce it with a slight “J” sound. Like this: “Ma chorka.” But I digress. Yes, Bernice. I’m trying to get to Mallorca.”*<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Bernice</span>: “well, it looks like you can get there if you don’t mind a stopover in Pragway.”<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Me</span>: “Pragway?"<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Bernice</span>: “or maybe it’s pronounced, “Pra-goo.”<br /><br />Sigh.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">PRAGUE</span> is the capital and largest city of the Czech Republic. Nicknames for Prague have included Praga mater urbium/Praha matka měst ("Prague – Mother of Cities") in Latin/Czech, Stověžatá Praha ("City of a Hundred Spires") in Czech or Zlaté město/Goldene Stadt ("Golden City") in Czech/German, and <span style="font-weight: bold;">PraGOO, if you’re a Travelocity travel agent.</span><br /><br />*i didn't really say this, but i definitely thought it.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5374341326373023559.post-48496751270014952792009-12-27T12:56:00.013-05:002009-12-27T21:00:39.177-05:00picture pagesi have undertaken the herculean task of organizing my family's box of photos. most families have a collection of photo albums that act as a timeline of their lives. we have a photo box. which basically means 30-odd years worth of photos dumped into a box. pretty simple.<br /><br />so for christmas vacation 2009, i spent $300 on photo archival paper, $50 on 8 hot pink binders (mom's choice) and 10 hours and counting so far on coercing each picture into its glossy place with my mom's korean soap operas playing in the background.<br /><br />some of you may regard this project as the punishment given to medieval thieves and other social miscreants before thumb screws were invented, but i actually enjoyed my solo walk down memory 6 lane highway.<br /><br />though i now have a ravaging "alexa ray joel/christy brinkley" syndrome (you know, realizing that your mom is way hotter than you are), don't worry, my friends, i won't curse out my dad for his dominant genes and then chomp on 8 natural sleeping pills. maybe my mom's genes skips a generation and my kid will inherit her perfectly perfect nose. (picture: my mom desperately trying to sculpt my nose into place while the cartilage is still young and malleable).<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG90vOrOZmT1y_tnEOlgXecUQP5y3mYA9QZ6orX2E-UsCOt8crawceJczMs5pKrMBTFEL4Y28OqnnsFbTtxQRYZMLBCYf8lh6wevyO9pTCWTeLmAJzyOPOOg5-GMpzmwfcYDGJEfomXpM/s1600-h/nose.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 214px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5420094541092628498" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG90vOrOZmT1y_tnEOlgXecUQP5y3mYA9QZ6orX2E-UsCOt8crawceJczMs5pKrMBTFEL4Y28OqnnsFbTtxQRYZMLBCYf8lh6wevyO9pTCWTeLmAJzyOPOOg5-GMpzmwfcYDGJEfomXpM/s320/nose.jpg" /></a><br /><br />i also came to realize that between the ages of zero to 12, i only had two faces that i like to call, "you are the funniest person in the world!" and "i really need to take a dump." see exhibits below (funny, followed by dump, in case there is any confusion...i understand that there might be).<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpIorxKrPF886ttbTeSVVl6kOCVggmm5X6uO5VAKvLopVAwEgogAWuYbj3C_ERv4zyJsyG-8VLiiXc3ZGFF6UxB8pxbD31FglrDexZZE4ofmoaZz4mlnoT3nuxuFarUdN02KW5W8YU2M0/s1600-h/laughing.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 214px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5420095230881745506" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpIorxKrPF886ttbTeSVVl6kOCVggmm5X6uO5VAKvLopVAwEgogAWuYbj3C_ERv4zyJsyG-8VLiiXc3ZGFF6UxB8pxbD31FglrDexZZE4ofmoaZz4mlnoT3nuxuFarUdN02KW5W8YU2M0/s320/laughing.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgz_xxwowviylahppSAhaYt12pc18gGVnaR9HKnDf8ZocaDpYqK-Ui9JIktmBlPxstm-eribb297WNLU2YOn1ZxAIzl_UoWYFDaFJ8_CzK8V0mczNwO-mBem_2SMqYh1IQx1gXj-KQs5OE/s1600-h/first+grade.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 256px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5420095652581988402" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgz_xxwowviylahppSAhaYt12pc18gGVnaR9HKnDf8ZocaDpYqK-Ui9JIktmBlPxstm-eribb297WNLU2YOn1ZxAIzl_UoWYFDaFJ8_CzK8V0mczNwO-mBem_2SMqYh1IQx1gXj-KQs5OE/s320/first+grade.jpg" /></a><br /><br />the hardest part of this project is not the attention to detail required (particularly since i have none), but the decision of when it's OK to throw away pictures. some decisions are easy. i guiltlessly threw away all of the pictures that had my dad's finger in front of the lens. and all the pictures that came back from Vons with a removable sticker that said, "best quality. no charge. take photography lessons" but then came the harder choices. do i throw away the double pictures? the quadruple pictures? do we really need 4 pictures of me playing piano, especially when we have 20 others just like it? do i throw away the pictures of the unidentified animal from the San Diego zoo? a picture taken just when the tiger went back into its cave?<br /><br />it's kind of like playing God. or deleting history. or stealing memories. i find myself contemplating throwing away people in my life that have broken my heart or people that i just don't like anymore. i do. because they are my memories and i choose to hit the delete button on them. i consider throwing away pictures of people who have broken my mom's heart. pictures i know will cause her pain. people she has actively tried to forget. do i? is that my decision? i keep them but put them in an envelope with a big heart with an X through it. she knew exactly what those pictures were and said i could toss them.<br /><br />do i throw away the pictures of my dad's home perm (lady ogilvie, tight curlers, administered in the kitchen by my mom, the amateur esthetician) because i KNOW he'd rather forget that experience? i kept them and made them the front cover of one of the albums. <br /><br />what about all the ones from college where i don't even look like myself (amazing what 30 pounds can do to you)? i burn them because, truthfully, i'm tired of filing.<br /><br />just kidding. i kept those blasted pictures. just so i'll have something to tape on the fridge when i need to lose some weight.<br /><br />now, if you'll excuse me, i have 2,000 more pictures to file.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5374341326373023559.post-33552364208607017282009-11-27T19:50:00.003-05:002009-11-27T20:10:40.000-05:00i'm a crieri'm not sure when the transition happened. it must be hormonal. there is no explanation for it. i'm a crier. and what's more..i kinda like it. <br /><br />when i was kid, i wasn't a crier. maybe because my best friend erin was a big ol' crier for both of us. remember her from my previous posts? erin and i got our way because all i had to do was nudge her and say, "psst. erin. cry. ahora*." and erin would cry on cue. this frequently resulted in our moms handing over mint chocolate ice cream. <br /><br />or how about: "erin. cry". <br /><br />BAM. sleepover thursdays were reinstated.<br /><br />sometimes it was more like: "one more time, erin. cry." <br /><br />new jelly shoes to match our jelly bracelets that we got bc erin cried would magically appeared at our feet. <br /><br />crying was great.<br /><br />anyway, i was a stomper. a yeller. a runner. hardly ever a crier. when i was frustrated, i stamped and yelled and ran away. but around year 30, i noticed that things just made me cry. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">things like:</span><br />(happy things)<br />* when my co worker told me that her niece may be able to play viola once again after a dog attacked her arm.<br />* when they "MOVE THAT BUS!" in extreme home makeover<br />"CHRISTINA AGUILERA: BEHIND THE MUSIC", on VH1<br />* a picture of suri cruise delighting in the park in US Weekly<br /><br /><br />(sad things)<br />* when fabio the italian got kicked off of top chef season 5<br />* the "hero" music video by enrique iglesias<br />* lost kids looking for their moms in malls<br />* lost moms looking for their kids (arguably sadder)<br /><br /><br />(just things)<br />* the cotton commercials ("the fabric of our liiiives")<br />* the mcdonalds commercial where the kid is dropped off at college and he's emotional but prefers to appear stoic.<br />* when i see a baby picture. of myself.<br />* dead plants i've killed with my own two hands.<br /><br />all of the above have brought tears to my eyes within the last 30 days. so if you see me blinking rapidly and swallowing hard, you can be sure something happy, sad, or just plain thingy, made me cry. and it feels great!<br /><br />*ahora: means NOW! in spanish. i used it liberally and with emphasis with an astonishingly impressive spanish accent for a 9 year old.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5374341326373023559.post-68961175865868881812009-11-11T11:24:00.004-05:002009-11-11T11:40:44.241-05:00No WonderThe past couple of days I have been sleepier than usual in the morning. I'm talking eyes glazing over, chin hitting chest sleepy. The kind of sleepy where you actually catch yourself fantasizing about cutting off your arm in exchange for a pillow top bed with crisp sheets and cool pillows.<br /><br />THIS is why:<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaS5vGMPdISyBmlfIqov0zEpgayk3RqCvpMrLZoPfnncVqjksPxKUn-96i7-l51VHEaK11nazk5IAYTxvRF7HtJt4P3HiiGInqLqOUcOQshsCgtbJlems5E_cC1T4-b07LFWZEXL-Ns4I/s1600-h/COFFEE.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaS5vGMPdISyBmlfIqov0zEpgayk3RqCvpMrLZoPfnncVqjksPxKUn-96i7-l51VHEaK11nazk5IAYTxvRF7HtJt4P3HiiGInqLqOUcOQshsCgtbJlems5E_cC1T4-b07LFWZEXL-Ns4I/s320/COFFEE.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5402886536915291378" /></a><br /><br />SHOOT - i can't get a clear shot - but, THEY SWITCHED MY MORNING COFFEE TO DECAF!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5374341326373023559.post-21523412797422016962009-10-15T13:53:00.004-05:002009-10-15T13:58:21.518-05:00There You Are!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihJBLSI_ZhUczLFGuCnGc7hMWLf-9Wf8v4m4a4t9ikxI5HfkuanlWEAByNzvyiTmJCxYBVSsz7sVMMi8-90G_FlwpFWo9R_67SdVwOwYKJv4qJXe_vkZO7x06TabDj8jsFKrGrSJt40ks/s1600-h/IMG00136.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihJBLSI_ZhUczLFGuCnGc7hMWLf-9Wf8v4m4a4t9ikxI5HfkuanlWEAByNzvyiTmJCxYBVSsz7sVMMi8-90G_FlwpFWo9R_67SdVwOwYKJv4qJXe_vkZO7x06TabDj8jsFKrGrSJt40ks/s320/IMG00136.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5392902246019300210" /></a><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiO-PfKvEXNMZhwzpCvOpm0biKWNlSTTRulmZpyJmso0qLyJlEnej69vmh_YBA89vVeOVoFr1b78BjuquMUcYsBCzvjCC5bXFKp2K0ZKnqHkR3sQPTsieQ3T34X1FA3JQsDa2JgSID6-Y/s1600-h/thank+you.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 242px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiO-PfKvEXNMZhwzpCvOpm0biKWNlSTTRulmZpyJmso0qLyJlEnej69vmh_YBA89vVeOVoFr1b78BjuquMUcYsBCzvjCC5bXFKp2K0ZKnqHkR3sQPTsieQ3T34X1FA3JQsDa2JgSID6-Y/s320/thank+you.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5392902836299648210" /></a><br />I hadn't seen his subway ad for over a year. Maybe I was riding the wrong subway cars? Maybe he left the business. Maybe it was because of fraud! Who could really believe his unequivocally confident technocolor "Beautiful Clear Skin" ads, after all? But two days ago, as I (ironically) was poking the carbuncle growing on my forehead, I looked up and there he was!!! His weird eyeless eyes staring at me. My goodness, I almost genuflected right then and there. <br /><br />THANK YOU DR. ZIZMOR! I MISSED YOU!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5374341326373023559.post-36357892462914886652009-10-05T13:27:00.002-05:002009-10-05T13:31:07.327-05:00words that people can't saywhen i was a kid, i couldn't say the word "specific." i could only say "suh-pacific." ever determined, i trained myself to say "specific" by reasoning, "irene, if you can say SPAGHETTI, then you can say SUH-PACIFIC." makes sense, right?? this kind of self coaching paid off and soon enough, I was able to say "specific" with no trouble at all. (incidentally, the other word that gave me problems was the word "intrigued." I pronounced it "introoged" in my head for over 8 years before i found out how it was really pronounced. and then i actually said, "that's very introoging, mr. pilch!" in 6th grade and it was really embarassing.)<br /><br />Anyway, the other day i took a an abs class at my gym. my instructor, marcus, couldn't say the word "two". he would count, "ONE STEW THREE FOUR! ONE STEW THREE FOUR!" and it was highly distracting. Especially since he started the class by saying "Class: Today, we are working on perfecting our plank position." If he can say "today", why can't he say "two?". <br /><br />I guess it's a bigger problem than people realize 'cause I once knew a person who couldn't say the word "shrimp." I noticed it because he would say "prawns" instead of shrimp. When I asked him why he said "prawns", he said it was because he couldn't say "shrimp" because he sometimes had issues with the "sh" sound. obviously, I forced him to say "shrimp" 10 times over really fast. And this is what it sounded like "<em>srimp srimp srimp srimp srimp srimp srimp srimp srimp srimp</em>" can you believe it? <br /><br />I told him about how I used have issues with the word "specific" and that we all can get over minor speech impediments with tenacity and practice and told him to say, "Shirley's Surely Shrimpy!" 5 times every day. He thought I was making fun of him and he walked away in a huff. What a same.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5374341326373023559.post-65815192939506335302009-09-18T10:31:00.003-05:002009-09-18T10:44:05.489-05:00her ana is like, dead<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4JCC6xa-NWMtadA6Y2qPIgV-tdLrTVrOyOb8n6CNdeuMkxPkyPo7ZfPV6EuxGpPMdhS6w8B69QCvkg0HK28sI5Jzoc_Z9sA7x9LzkVPSbpQDG-OGF1LkRB_WrWp43btgmHzVVbmxRak8/s1600-h/tori.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 91px; height: 139px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4JCC6xa-NWMtadA6Y2qPIgV-tdLrTVrOyOb8n6CNdeuMkxPkyPo7ZfPV6EuxGpPMdhS6w8B69QCvkg0HK28sI5Jzoc_Z9sA7x9LzkVPSbpQDG-OGF1LkRB_WrWp43btgmHzVVbmxRak8/s320/tori.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5382833412694398898" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>irenejkim77</strong>: look at this picture of suri. i'm dying of cuteness overload. http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20273213,00.html?xid=rss-topheadlines <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4jVExdn6OUHkmv2WYCoMGCc9WPn_P77vd3bye3PTCyHrPD39p8XC9J08ugNaTZvpitHcz0R1so99fvSMZ2jC8wX_Cdi_as3-k9BLF0tHRoxCwk8nQULOqrRkr_VztnImObuIcvq9jRAw/s1600-h/suri_cruise.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4jVExdn6OUHkmv2WYCoMGCc9WPn_P77vd3bye3PTCyHrPD39p8XC9J08ugNaTZvpitHcz0R1so99fvSMZ2jC8wX_Cdi_as3-k9BLF0tHRoxCwk8nQULOqrRkr_VztnImObuIcvq9jRAw/s320/suri_cruise.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5382833501102236098" /> </a><br /><strong>bff@work</strong>: what a cutie patootie! i hear katie wants to leave tom <br /><strong>bff@work:</strong> do u think that's tru? <br /><strong>irenejkim77</strong>: omg. i don't now. <br /><strong>irenejkim77</strong>: know. <br /><strong>irenejkim77</strong>: i hope not. for suri's sake <br /><strong>bff@work:</strong> do u think tori is ana? <br /><strong>irenejkim77</strong>: of COURSE she is. spelling? <br /><strong>irenejkim77</strong>: tori spelling? bobble head? <br /><strong>bff@work:</strong> i kind of think she isn't <br /><strong>irenejkim77</strong>: WHAT?!??!??!????!????<br /><strong>bff@work:</strong> shes just like, at a skinny point in her life <br /><strong>irenejkim77</strong>: are you blind, woman? <br /><strong>irenejkim77</strong>: she's def ana !!!!!<br /><strong>bff@work:</strong> no, i get that she's too skinny <br /><strong>bff@work: </strong>but is she literally starving herself or is it unintentional? <br /><strong>irenejkim77</strong>: uh, literally starvinv herself. <br /><strong>irenejkim77</strong>: (like i can't blf you can't tell )<br /><strong>bff@work: </strong>no i can tell she is not eating enough food <br /><strong>bff@work:</strong> i'm wondering about her mental state behind it. like "i can't eat, i'm not thin enough blah blah" <br /><strong>bff@work: </strong>or what she says "i'm running around crazy and haven't really been eating properly, i get that i'm too thin" <br /><strong>irenejkim77</strong>: tori has SAID that she feels pressure to be thin. <br /><strong>irenejkim77</strong>: post pregnancy. <br /><strong>irenejkim77</strong>: i think everyone is ana in h-wood who looks too thin. <br /><strong>bff@work:</strong> we see a lot of these hollywood types get bobble headed after baby <br /><strong>irenejkim77</strong>: except that their standards are all reset... <br /><strong>bff@work:</strong> i would prolly be ana too <br /><strong>irenejkim77</strong>: so they think they're not. <br /><strong>irenejkim77</strong>: right. <br /><strong>irenejkim77</strong>: i would be, too. <br /><strong>irenejkim77</strong>: totally paranoid about what i eat. <br /><strong>bff@work:</strong> bcuz it's so much pressure! and so much upside if u are thin <br /><strong>bff@work:</strong> and we're regular sized<br /><strong>irenejkim77</strong>: bc everyone is a midget. In h-wood. a midget.<br /><strong>bff@work:</strong> like no paparazzi <br /><strong>irenejkim77:</strong> right. that's what i'm sayin.g <br /><strong>bff@work</strong>: agreed <br /><strong>irenejkim77:</strong> tori may not THINK she's ana. but she is. <br /><strong>bff@work:</strong> aha! understood <br /><strong>irenejkim77:</strong> total paradigm shift. <br /><strong>bff@work:</strong> like our ana is her normal <br /><strong>bff@work:</strong> her ana is like, dead <br /><strong>irenejkim77:</strong> HAHA made me laugh.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5374341326373023559.post-36615442187156397402009-08-27T15:32:00.002-05:002009-08-27T15:37:21.345-05:00This summer has been a very wet one in New York City. I think I read somewhere that June 2009 was the 4th wettest June in NYC history. Which doesn’t sound all that impressive because nobody remembers 4th place (this strikes a personal chord with me because my business school seems to be perpetually stuck in #4 purgatory. With a logo like THAT, we're NEVER gonna be #1!)<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEOCkBO6u8A2MCBnFT_ZGQb8hVmgxqNKMBLk3NmFAwuobYZT-crNenkOhFt8d2PEv2QvbPEoO11ANJmsOdXNbLPEWdR-vgb8KWFOGlOUZWB6M3PataeahepdpM71VT2THj2BdTZ2buKno/s1600-h/hermes.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 116px; height: 116px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEOCkBO6u8A2MCBnFT_ZGQb8hVmgxqNKMBLk3NmFAwuobYZT-crNenkOhFt8d2PEv2QvbPEoO11ANJmsOdXNbLPEWdR-vgb8KWFOGlOUZWB6M3PataeahepdpM71VT2THj2BdTZ2buKno/s320/hermes.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374744306623487458" /></a><br /><br />Anyway, I've started to notice a pattern. A sudden summer rainstorm is almost ALWAYS followed by distant fire engine sounds. Have you noticed this and if so, do you have a theory as to why? I realize that there are dangers related to driving in the rain. I'm familiar with the concept of Hydroplaning. Not only because I have done it before (WHHEEEE!! I'm driving down the 805! WHHEEEEE! I'm SLIDING down the 805!) but because Californians are notoriously bad drivers in rain and I have witnessed more cars spinning down the freeway than I have heart-shaped items in my apartment. But…if a car hydroplanes and ultimately ends up in a car crash (God Forbid)…doesn't that usually involve the Fuzz, not the Fire Department?<br /><br />So I googled "Fire and Rain". The only thing that came up was : ""Fire and Rain" is a folk/rock song written and performed by James Taylor. Taylor publicly said that he composed "Fire and Rain" in 1968 during a stay in the Spanish island of Formentera, a place that he jokingly defined as a place (then) "full of goats and drug smugglers".<br /><br />(Cool! I went to Formentera! I didn't see any goats! See blog: http://iwantpink.blogspot.com/2007/07/vacation-planning.html)<br /><br />I don’t know this song "Fire and Rain". Mind you, I'm the person who thought Jim Croce was African American. Tom Jones, too, come to think of it. So I'm not exactly your "Phone A Friend" when it comes to these matters. I looked up the lyrics and nope, the song doesn't ring a bell. And it didn't shed any light on why sudden rain storms are frequently followed by the fire engine siren sound. I know it's a random post. But I was just wondering why, that's all.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5374341326373023559.post-15578866554754067652009-07-31T10:45:00.005-05:002009-07-31T10:49:44.580-05:00Toe JamI was in Boston yesterday. Until recently, my list of Why I Love Boston were negated by a list of equal length of Why I Don't Always Love Boston, netting me neutral on the city. After what happened to me yesterday, why IDALB is winning by a nose. <br /><br />It was 1:51 pm and I was frantically looking around for a cab to take me to Logan Airport to catch a 2:30 flight. There was none to be found. And I wasn't alone; there was a pack of us roaming around Congress Street trying to flag a cab. As the minutes sped by and my competition increased, I knew I had to take action. I exchanged my high heels for my black flats and broke out in a wind sprint down the cobblestone streets around Faneuil Hall. In less than 3 seconds, I somehow simultaneously kicked off BOTH shoes in OPPOSITE directions, rendering me barefoot and sprinting for a good 5 lopes before I put my Flintstone breaks on and screeched to a grinding halt. The ring toe* on my left foot took the brunt of the trauma but I paid no attention because I was too aware of the people pointing and laughing at the stressed out Asian girl running barefoot. I'm sure the veterans who had been warily eyeing me earlier were immediately brought back to Hiroshima, circa August 6, 1945.<br /><br />Anyhoo. I picked up my shoes (they were at least 15 feet apart from each other, with me as the Epicenter of Trouble) and lo and behold! A CAB! I hopped in the cab and made it on my flight. I, unfortunately, sat behind two Finance guys who talked the entire time of why "Hamachi" was better than "Yellowtail". I was thiiiiiiiise close to tapping them on their shoulders and saying, "Listen Turdface, Hamachi and Yellowtail are THE SAME THING". But I didn't. Because I was reading SkyMall. CHECK THIS OUT!<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7F_dTvt8j5YkWdd6q8MdLksbrQcfHweA4V5p6RSQIuhIbFKXfm8tdIF_Csa4_5WELTighdC2UpdvHDkmZJC52a0TyP_I9PyQ12HYcH8AINZ5Y-FcXvasTUkE8yVDqk6jYDWuqm37Bm9c/s1600-h/microwave.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 268px; height: 268px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7F_dTvt8j5YkWdd6q8MdLksbrQcfHweA4V5p6RSQIuhIbFKXfm8tdIF_Csa4_5WELTighdC2UpdvHDkmZJC52a0TyP_I9PyQ12HYcH8AINZ5Y-FcXvasTUkE8yVDqk6jYDWuqm37Bm9c/s320/microwave.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5364651082364189890" /></a><br /><br />It's a little microwave for YOUR CAR! It plugs into the CIGARETTE LIGHTER! Oh, SkyMall! You never fail me.<br /><br />Anyway, the point of my story is that I think I broke my toe. It's running a fever and the nail is turning black.<br /><br />*no,i would NEVER EVER wear a ring on my toe. and if you thought this even for a second, you are dead to me.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2