self strangulation

In 1974, Dr. Henry Heimlich published findings on what was to become the Heimlich Maneuver. A week later, the first choking victim was saved by the method. In 1978, New York City passed a law requiring that every establishment, regardless of size or design, “where food is sold and space is designated specifically as eating areas shall have posted in a conspicuous place, easily accessible to all employees and customers, a sign graphically depicting the Heimlich Maneuver or a comparable technique instructing on how to dislodge food from a choking person.” The bill was passed unanimously by the City Council in 1978 (five days before Christmas and its feasts.)

http://www.backspace.com/notes/2002/08/16/x.html



Take a closer look at this poster:

...doesn't it look like...she's CHOKING HERSELF?

I can just see this scenario play out at The Spotted Pig:


Asian Lady: "That's it!" (throws napkin down) "I just can't take it anymore!" (choking noises)
White Lady: Lady! Hey lady! Chill out! You're going to be ok! You have so much to live for!" (taking her tenderly from behind) ... i love you...
Asian Lady: "aaahhhhhghhghhghahgghhgurglegurgle"

Is this poster a "how to" for the Heimlich or is it really an expertly disguised PSA for the Suicide Hotline?

i know it's a kid's thing, but i swear someone on my floor has this

CROUP (http://www.kidshealth.org/parent/infections/bacterial_viral/croup.html)

Signs and Symptoms

Croup is characterized by a loud cough that may sound like the barking of a seal and may be accompanied by fast or difficult breathing and sometimes a grunting noise or wheezing while breathing.

Flying Sucks

I spend a lot of time in airports. Enough to say that they should be renamed Sinkholes of Productivity or Bastions of Boredom. I’ve clocked in at least 10 dog years at airports and I want to take this time lay out my observations for you. The first two observations have been blogged about (ad nauseum) in previous posts:

Observation #1: “Man and his Hidden love of Tomato Juice when aboard an aircraft”.
Observation #2: “SkyMall is Great!!!”

The next two observations are new:
Observation #3: “The Man and the Teeny Tiny Rolling Backpacks. Why?”
Observation #4: “The Onboarding Process as the Ultimate Proxy for the Hierarchy of Man and Display of Pomposity."

I’d like to focus on #4. I have never understood the rush to get into an airplane. This isn’t the Chinatown bus, everyone. We all have assigned seats. What’s the upside to getting on the plane FASTER? An extra 20 minutes to marinate in stale airplane air while you Observe #5: The Man and his difficulty in putting small suitcases wheels first into the Overhead Bin? Sign me up!

Airlines have stratified the onboarding process to a startling degree. And this stratification wafts an “I’m better than you” fragrance throughout waiting line. As the first class are invited to board the plane first, people are watching JEALOUSLY as they are given the dubious honor of sitting in fart air before the rest of their airplane peers. And I swear airlines are making up more and more categories with each passing day. Does this sound familiar? “We’d like to invite all first class passengers to board at this time. After our first class cabins have been seated, we’d like to invite all Platinum members and Group 1 to board at this time. After Platinum members and Group 1, we would like to invite Diamond members in the following order: Brilliant Cut, Princess Cut, and dead last, because you are ugly: Pear Shaped Cut. Following ALL Diamond members, we would like to invite the Titanium Infused Onyx class along with Groups 2,3,4,5,6. Lastly, we begrudgingly invite the Poopy Pants class to get on the plane.”

Even if my points or my company has paid for me to sit in First Class, I always join the Poopy Pants class and walk on the plane dead last. And if I bought my ticket on Travelocity and my seat is in 2987 B (middle seat, last row), must everyone make me feel like Rosa Parks?